Pinch Me, Poke Me… I Don’t Care!

I’ve recently found that some of the best days of the month are when I have appointments….not salon appointments or lunch dates…’s appointments. I love them. Years ago, the idea of sitting for thirty-five minutes in a waiting room would annoy me. Now, if I position myself just right, and if there is an armchair in the room, I can easily catch a nap. (Not a long one because I wake up as soon as my head does that final drop…. as if my neck is saying, “I give up and I can no longer hold up the head of an unconscious person.”) But I’m okay with that because I know that a comfy chair is in my future. You know….dental chair, gynecologist chair, ophthalmologist chair…….. You probably never noticed the chair in your eye doctor’s room. They are all cushioned up from luxurious footrest to glorious headrest. And don’t get me started on that gynecologist bed! Yup……..that room is dreamy to me. Sure, it’s uncomfortable at times but frankly, sitting in that chair is sometimes the first time my ass has been on solid ground all day or all week. Last week, my eyes needed to be dilated. The nurse said, “This will take a few minutes.” I casually replied, “Take your time.” (To me, that’s the best news I’ve heard all day.) I followed up with, “Go. See other patients. Forget about me. You can put those drops in my eyes over and over again. If I don’t wake up while you’re doing it just move my lids up and squeeze.” Nothing bothers me now. I take the sleep when I can get it. Two weeks ago I had two cavities filled and don’t remember a thing. Next week is my annual pelvic exam. I can’t wait! While the other patients gaze nervously around the exam room, I’ll happily glide into that chair and exclaim, ” Take your time. Look around if you need to. I’ve got all the time in the world.”