Do you have a “Break my Leg” plan?

It’s Monday and I’m tired. I already feel “Friday Tired” and it’s only Monday. I know I’m supposed to love running around, taking care of my kids, being in my prime and all that sh*t. But frankly, I’m just tired. I’ve actually formulated my “Break my Leg” plan. It’s my plan for complete relaxation as soon as I break my leg. I’m sure I’ll go through all that “Oh, gosh, I’m going to die…and I can’t believe my leg is broken” crap. But right after that, and a lot of codeine, complete relaxation. I won’t shower or change my clothes. I’ll just watch Dexter and Boardwalk Empire and my house will be a mess. But you know what?! No one could say a thing@!! People would feel sorry for me; and say things like “Dena, can we help with anything?” or “Can we send a casserole over?” “Hell, yeah!” I would say. “That would be great! My kids love casserole…but you know what they love more? Chicken Parm with a side of angel hair pasta and maybe some of those Crescent Rolls. The low fat ones, I don’t want to be a pig”. Ah, it would be like living the dream! Sure, one leg would be skinnier than the other for the next 8 weeks but who cares. No housework, laundry and free dinners for weeks. I don’t want you to think I’m crazy. I’m not asking for my leg to be broken, that’s just crazy. I just have a plan to make it a positive experience if it does. And I would only be happy if it’s my left leg. Then I could still drive myself to the mall and salad works. If not, I’m screwed…I’ll just be a girl with a stupid broken leg. Just an FYI to any nut jobs!!! Please, Do not take this as a plea for someone to break my leg. Seriously, I don’t need anyone going all Tanya Harding on me. Don’t be a sicko. What’s your “Break my Leg” plan? What would you do for 8 weeks on break? This is not me…but I feel like this is how I would roll with my broken leg…